Thanksgiving – and an ugly Christmas sweater?

DARQ (shouting): Happy Turkey Day!

CATHERINE: It’s not a happy day for turkeys.

DARQ: Yeah, I know, but ‘TIZ THE SEASON!

CATHERINE: Oh, please, not you too.

DARQ: Me too what?

CATHERINE: I really hate the commercialization of Christmas. Did you not notice that the Black Friday sales began last Sunday, five days before Thanksgiving?  Why just a couple hours ago, the TV station I was watching ran a “Happy Holidays” blurb to its viewers.

DARQ: Speaking of Christmas, I need your help.

CATHERINE:  For what?

DARQ: The guys–

CATHERINE: As in the Men In Black who are now pigging out on your pumpkin pies, all twenty four of them?

DARQ: Yes, and they are OUR pies. I cleaned the pumpkins, you made the pies–

CATHERINE:  So, you want me to help you bake more pies, like for the MIB’s Christmas party?

DARQ:  No. The party’s being catered.

CATHERINE (letting out a sigh of profound relief):  That’s good. So, what kind of help do you need?

DARQ:  I need an ugly Christmas sweater.

CATHERINE (looking astonished): Why would you want an ugly Christmas sweater?  There are plenty of lovely ones–

DARQ: It’s a contest. Well, actually, anyone who attends the party has to wear the ugliest Christmas sweater they own or can buy or can make.  It’s a themed party–the “Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.”

CATHERINE: So, go online or go shopping and buy yourself an ugly Christmas sweater.

DARQ:  If it’s in a store, it’s likely more than one person will be wearing the same sweater.  I want something unique.  You knit. Could you knit me sweater?

CATHERINE: I could if you can wait until next Christmas for me to finish it.  I’m a slow knitter.

DARQ (looking crestfallen):

CATHERINE (speaking before she can stop herself): But I can crochet a lot faster.  I guess I can crochet one for you in a couple of weeks.  When’s the party?

DARQ (grins): Sunday afternoon, Dec. 14 at HQ.  Can you have the sweater ready by then?

CATHERINE: More than likely.  Com’mon, let’s go to my sewing room and raid the yarn bin, and see what color combo we can piece together for this ugly sweater of yours.

*****Stop back December 14 to see Darq’s ugly Christmas Sweater.

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Thanksgiving To Do List

 

 

 

DARQ: Yoi, Catherine, I’ve put up the autumn wreath on the door and have checked that task off my To Do List.

CATHERINE:  That’s great . . . What the– Darq, I said go buy a few pumpkins to decorate the stoop and porch, not buy out the market!

DARQ chuckles and then says: I didn’t buy out the market. The baskets and the little pumpkins are sugar pumpkin, also known as pie pumpkins.

CATHERINE:   We only needed field pumpkins, the ones for decorating, not eating. Whatever made you buy pie pumpkins?

DARQ: The squad, you know, my MIB escorts–

CATHERINE:  Oh, no, don’t tell me the Men In Black talked you into buying the more expensive pie pumpkins.  How can you be so gullible?

DARQ: I’m not that gullible.  It was a bet.

CATHERINE:  A bet? They bet you couldn’t buy a gazillion pumpkins?

DARQ:  No. They were talking about the Pilgrims and pumpkin pie made from real pumpkins, not the pies made today from canned pumpkin. The gist is that if I wanted to experience a real Thanksgiving treat, pumpkin pie should be made from scratch, rather, from the patch, from old-fashioned pie pumpkins.

CATHERINE:  But you only need a pumpkin or two at best to do that. You bought scads more.

DARQ (her cheek color deepening): Ah, well, I sort of said I would make a pie or two and next thing you know, they all wanted to taste-test any pie I made, so I promised I’d make each one a pie.

CATHERINE:  A pie?  A whole pie?  One for each?

DARQ nods.

CATHERINE:  Okay, maybe that’s not too bad.  That’s only, what, eight pies.

DARQ: Ah, no.

CATHERINE:  No?

DARQ:  I said I’d make a pie for the entire squad. Everyone.

CATHERINE: That’s two dozen pies!

DARQ:  Plus one for me and two for you and your sisters to share on Thanksgiving Day.  Twenty-six pies in all.

CATHERINE: There’s only ten days until Thanksgiving.  Do you realize how much time it takes to make pumpkin pie from pumpkins?

DARQ:  How hard can it be?

CATHERINE, jaw working up and down, then she takes a calming breath, and says:  I once made a half-dozen pumpkin pies from scratch because someone gave me sugar pumpkins. It was an all-day ordeal.

DARQ: Oh, I didn’t realize . . .  But were they tasty pumpkin pies?

CATHERINE, a smile parting her lips:  As I recall–  Damn good!

DARQ:  Well, don’t stand there, give me a hand getting these pie pumpkins into the kitchen.  The sooner we start, the sooner we have great-tasting pumpkin pie!

CATHERINE:  We?   WE!

DARQ ignores Catherine, pockets her pencil and To Do List,  grabs one of the bigger pie pumpkins, and heads for the kitchen.

***For a recipe for pumpkin pie from scratch, go HERE

DARQ: Catherine forgot to show you my shoes! They are cream-white, faux-leather with silken embroidery and the embroidery is enhanced with a bit of gold thread.  Not as much bling as many of my shoes (and you know I love shoes and bling), but these are _________________ !  (You fill in the word by replying with a comment!).

***This blog will be updated next on Thanksgiving Day.  Stop by or go to Catherine’s Contact Page to be notified of when this blog is updated.  Updates are when events develop (and new clothes and shoes made for the occasion).  Coming events include Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, a New Years Eve Party (another Erte-inspired gown), the Boston Pops, a Broadway play, and others.

Comments and conversations welcome!

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